Sunday, July 18, 2010

Here is my card, please do not kidnap me!

I am still staying the path, I am still trying to find a way to have my passion for Makeup become a reality. Lists have been made and remade and made once more. The making of the lists is easy, it is the execution of the items on such lists that seem to be the tricky, shady part. I have been making moves to accomplish certain things and of course avoiding the completion of less desirable tasks.

I am at this time creating content for my website and gathering pictures of Dollface beauties whom have allowed my to come speeding forward towards their eyeballs will makeup brushes and sheer excitement. I have set a web launch date of Aug. 1st and it will probably me myself, fiance and his generous pal Janine who has given me numerous amount of both time and advice on my site, drinking beers in celebration of meeting the chosen date. I have many payed weddings and makeup trials under my belt.I am CRUSHING it!
I have been reading up on other artists and viewing their awesome pinup pictures. I have heated my hot rollers and perfected the medium length haired victory roll with a Rockabilly spin, and I have bought Social D tickets for their NH concert, unrelated but excites me still. My biggest issue still looms. ADVERTISEMENT!

I am an awful self promoter. This has always been my problem. I can talk to anyone and inflict them with my excitement over almost nothing but I cannot give my business card out or push my services on anyone, even when they may need it. I am and have always been a take it or leave it kind of person. I am not even talking about "pushing" people to get services they do not want, I mean I have issues even making the suggestion. I have tracked this feeling of awkwardness back to my parents trying to avoid an after-school special-esque kidnapping of my younger self.

When I was a mini Dollface, around four to six, I was informed of this kidnapping thing that was happening in the world. My neighbor who was older and more, let us say sleazy mature, told me that someone was going around taking pictures of kids and coming back to kidnap them later. I was a kid so I had no concept of how they knew where I lived, I just knew that Connie wore a bra, so she must know what she is talking about. So. I spent the rest of the year avoiding the flashes of everyone's Polaroid cameras, including the school photographer who chased me around for an hour to only end up with the back of my head in our class photo. Years went by and I accepted that my Uncle George was probably not taking pictures of me and my brother in front of the x-mas tree to kidnap me and I let down my photo guard.

High School approached and it was time for me to get my first Sports letter jacket. I sucked at sports but insisted on playing them all and the jackets were very in during the 80's. My parents forbade me from getting my name on my jacket because, "Someone may call your name and kidnap you!" Here it was again, this kidnapping thing from years I thought were long passed. I was older and a little more "On my game" and I thought, "If someone calls me by my name and I do not know them, I will not think they know me just because they call my name," and looking back on pictures, nobody would have wanted to kidnap me? When I was 13 I looked like I was 30 and now that I am in my 30's I look more like I am 13.

The point to all of this is that a small part of me still feels that if someone has my name, picture or even public information I deep down wonder, are you going to kidnap me? It seems nutty I know, I am.

So, I will give out my card, my card with all my contact information on it. After all, I suppose this is a very important thing to have on ones card when attempting to freelance as a Makeup Artist. Still, in my mind with every card I give out I will utter, "Here is my card, please don't kidnap me."